I hate myself for being so impatient with Clarissa at times, especially when I am tired and stressed out.
For instance tonight, she kept pestering me to do this and do that for her. Little things that her Kakak and Daddy can do, and she was insisting that Mommy has to do it. Just now, she told me to carry her and feed her her milk, but I told her I could not do it because I was busy. She insisted that I have to do it, so I told her, in that case she can chose not to drink, and we can throw away the milk. Her answer was - ok, throw the milk away. In other words, she was telling me if I don't feed her, she might as well not drink. I got upset and punished her for wasting food. She cried hard because of that, and promised me through her sobs, that she won't waste her milk ever again. I was heartbroken seeing her like that. Suddenly it strikes me - all she had wanted was just a hug, a cuddle and a little attention from me. Because I was tired and totally stressed out, I have failed to see that.
I always make it a point to give her a big hug and a big kiss when I come home from work, but tonight, I have forgotten to do so. That was why she was trying hard to get my attention. How can I not notice it? And all I had done was being impatient with her the whole evening. What a bad Mommy I have been.....
Sometimes, I let my stress get the best of me, and at those times I have failed to appreciate those people who are important to me, like tonight. However, it is never too late to mend the situation. I gave her a big cuddle and a big kiss just now, carried her to feed her her milk, and now she is sleeping peacefully next to me.... I hope tonight will be remembered every day, and that I will not forget to give her my full attention when I am home, because all she had wanted was to share a little of Mommy's time, with Mommy alone...
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