Me - A Bad Mommy
Wednesday, September 17, 2008
I hate myself for being so impatient with Clarissa at times, especially when I am tired and stressed out.
For instance tonight, she kept pestering me to do this and do that for her. Little things that her Kakak and Daddy can do, and she was insisting that Mommy has to do it. Just now, she told me to carry her and feed her her milk, but I told her I could not do it because I was busy. She insisted that I have to do it, so I told her, in that case she can chose not to drink, and we can throw away the milk. Her answer was - ok, throw the milk away. In other words, she was telling me if I don't feed her, she might as well not drink. I got upset and punished her for wasting food. She cried hard because of that, and promised me through her sobs, that she won't waste her milk ever again. I was heartbroken seeing her like that. Suddenly it strikes me - all she had wanted was just a hug, a cuddle and a little attention from me. Because I was tired and totally stressed out, I have failed to see that.
I always make it a point to give her a big hug and a big kiss when I come home from work, but tonight, I have forgotten to do so. That was why she was trying hard to get my attention. How can I not notice it? And all I had done was being impatient with her the whole evening. What a bad Mommy I have been.....
Sometimes, I let my stress get the best of me, and at those times I have failed to appreciate those people who are important to me, like tonight. However, it is never too late to mend the situation. I gave her a big cuddle and a big kiss just now, carried her to feed her her milk, and now she is sleeping peacefully next to me.... I hope tonight will be remembered every day, and that I will not forget to give her my full attention when I am home, because all she had wanted was to share a little of Mommy's time, with Mommy alone...
Posted by Joey at 8:35 PM 0 comments
School time
Sunday, September 14, 2008
It has now been 2 weeks since Clarissa started school. Although she didn't cry at all (suprisingly), there had been complaints from her that she doesn't want to go to school. Like the other day, she overheard that I was going for breakfast with Godma and she wanted to follow us to eat "mum mum" before she goes to school. Probably having breakfast with Mommy was more important than going to school for her.
So far, I have been pretty satisfied with her new school, as they managed to discipline her well. She had this bad habit of sleeping in class in her previous nursery, and the teachers there didn't mind at all. Here in the new school, the teacher allowed her to do that for the first few days, but after that, whenever she wanted to take a nap, the teacher will distract her by asking her to do something else.
When I asked her the other day whether she slept in school, she told me this - " I asked teacher if I can sleep for 2 minutes, and the teacher said - No Clarissa, it's not sleeping time yet". She even came back with a stamp on her arm, and when I asked her how she got that, she told me, only good girls that listen to teacher during music time will get that. On the other hand, her teacher was telling me that she is doing very fine in school, asking many many questions all the time and following her instructions.
What can I say, except that my little baby has grown into a matured little girl, and Mommy is very proud of her!
Posted by Joey at 8:15 PM 0 comments
Yeh Yeh and Clarissa
Wednesday, September 3, 2008
Children that has the love of their grandparents are such lucky children. Although I never experienced love and care from my parents, I always think that I am a lucky child, because at the time when I need them most, my grandparents were there to take me and my sister in. Although not all the memories were good as our family were very poor, I am still thankful that they brought us up and we wouldn't be what we were today without them.
In a way, Clarissa is luckier than me because she has got Daddy and Mommy, to love and care for her. But the unlucky part was, out of four grandparents, she only has one Yeh Yeh (Grandpa) left. Then, the lucky part again is, she has a chance to meet her great grandparents who treats her like a princess.
In the eyes of her Yeh Yeh, she is everything. Yeh Yeh helps my maid to take care of her since she was a baby, and that is why she is very attach to him. Yeh Yeh also always give her everything she wants, irregardless of whether it is good or not for her. And Yeh Yeh sometimes drives Mommy nuts, because things that Mommy said no, Yeh Yeh will still do. Everytime things like this happens, I try to remind myself of a saying in Chinese - "Teaching a child is the responsibility of the parents, and pampering (in this case more on spoiling) the child is the responsibility of the grandparents."
Although she is so young, Clarissa cares a lot for her Yeh Yeh. Whenever we joked and say we will send Yeh Yeh to Godma's place because he is naughty, she will become all teary and beg us not to do it, because she doesn't want him to leave her. And everytime Yeh Yeh has appointment at the hospital, she will asked why he needs to go to the hospital, and what the doctor said. To her, Yeh Yeh is as important to her as much as she is to him.
Nevermind that Yeh Yeh upsets Mommy at times because he spoils her rotten! I may not be very nice to him at times like that, but deep down, I truly appreciates that he is there to help take care of her on a daily basis, sacrificing his mahjong session just to be at home, to ensure that she is well taken care of by the maid. I am also thankful that, although Clarissa has only one grandparent left, the love and care that she gets from Yeh Yeh alone is enough to compensate those who are no longer around.....
Posted by Joey at 9:13 PM 0 comments
First Day at School
Clarissa attended her 1st day of proper school today. Mommy & Daddy were quite concern on how she would cope with it after 2 months of holidays. The fact that she was in a pre-school for 2 years didn't help much, because she was very fond of her teachers and friends in the previous school, and therefore I was concern on whether she will be able to adapt in a totally different environment.
Knowing my daughter's character, I know she has to be prepared for the change. So, what I did was, informed her few months ahead that she will be going into a big school because the current school is no longer suitable for "big girl" like her. I also told her all her friends have gone to big school like her because they are all big girls already :-P Next, I took her to the school before school starts, to show her how her new school will look like. Of course the playground and the toys in the school helps to encourage her more. And the last thing I did was to force her to sleep early, so that she can wake up early. Mommy has to sacrifice too in this case, because it has been almost 10 years since I woke up at 5.45am!
We were so proud to see her in her school uniform with her school bag, because it shows how much my little girl has grown. When we reached the school, initially I was still worried, but the moment she stepped into her class, all my worries were gone. She was her confident self again, saying "hi" to the teachers and her new friends. She even gave her new teacher a big hug and before I decided to make a move, she was already saying goodbye to me and her Daddy :)
When I went to pick her later, her teachers told me she was doing well. Although she later told me she misses her old school and friends, after some persuasion and assurance from me, she said she does like her new school and was having fun. I only managed to let out a sigh of relief then!
I hope she will continue to enjoy her new school, as this is where she will be until she is 16. People always say, the best memories and best friends comes from the school days. I know it is not easy for her as she is only 3 1/2 years old, and that is why I am always there to give her a lot of encouragement and support. With this, I am sure I will be able to help her cope better in this new environment.
Posted by Joey at 6:53 PM 0 comments
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