PRAISES FOR YOUR CHILD. HOW SHOULD U REACT?

Whenever someone offered praises to your child, what do you normally say (besides thank you)? I am sure all of us will say things like – “No la, where got, she’s not pretty, she’s very naughty at home blah blah blah.” Being a typical Asian, we were brought up to be humble, and that means when we get praises from other people, our parents will not admit it in front of us, fearing that we will grow up to be an arrogant person. But what they have neglected is how we feel, isn’t it?

 

I once read an article about this subject which I think is very interesting, and would like to take this opportunity to share it with all of you. The author has awakened me on how I should react when someone offered praises for my daughter.

 

For instance, someone will come and tell me, “Oh she looks so pretty”, and being the typical Asian, I will say “Nola, where got, look at her teeth (trying to find flaws in her)”. It didn’t occur to me how she would feel about it. Of course now she is too young to understand, but if I do not change my attitude, I will continue to behave this way even when she’s older. Imagine how demotivated she will feel, if every single time, someone offered her praises in front of Mommy,but Mommy always disagree with this person. She would probably think, why is it that other people think she’s good, but her own Mommy never thinks so? And why is it that she always can't get the same approval that other people are giving her, from her own Mommy?

 

Reading the article made me realized sub consciously we are not being fair to our own children. So, from then on, I always make sure if friends or relatives offered praises to my girl, I will agree with them. We don’t need to reinforce it too much if we are worried that it may create an arrogance attitude in the child, but we do not need to say "NO" either, everytime someone is to praise the child. Motivating a child helps to build confidence in him or her, and being confident is such an important aspect in their life later. Shouldn’t we as parents be the one to help them build their confidence instead of the other way round?