I'm A Paranoid Mommy

My sister in law calls me a "Paranoid Mommy" all the time J 

 

I once asked a dentist at what age my daughter can wear braces, because some friends told me her teeth looks too ugly due to the reason she sucks too much pacifier. I never let my maid take my baby anywhere alone, fearing that she will take my baby out and never comes back. I forbid my baby to step foot in the balcony area without supervision, for fear that she will climb the railing when nobody was around. I always tell my baby that she must hold Mommy's hand when we are outside, or someone may take her away and she will not be able to see Mommy again. 

 

Since birth, my baby has never been separated from me for even one night, because I feels very uncomfortable doing that. She's my only child, and I do not even know if there will be a 2nd one coming along. Therefore, I have to give her the best protection. I don't mind letting her explore things that she's capable to do, but I do not take chances with her. 

 

I may be over protective or over paranoid, but that's just me as a Mommy, for I always believe - "better be safe than sorry!" You can even call me a “Crazy Mommy” and I am not bothered! J

 

 

How I got the name Clarissa

Before we got to know the gender of the baby when I was pregnant, we have already decided that if it was to be a girl, I will chose the name and Hubby will do it if it was a boy. For some reason, a lot of people tends to think that I was going to have a boy (although I was secretly hoping that it will be the other way round). 

So, my hubby got ready some names for us to chose. It is our family tradition to have the children's name starts with "C" because the whole family has names starts with it - Christie (my father in law), Christine, Christopher, Cynthia, Carrie and Caryn. Hubby came out with the suggestion Christian, Cornelius and Calvin. I thought Christian was ok, but he was very keen in Cornelius instead. All of us were horrified that the baby will be named after that :) It reminded us so much of the name "Cornelius Fudge", from the Harry Potter book (it was the hit then). And I certainly did not want to name my son Calvin because I didn't want him to be Calvin & Hobbes (Daddy was a little devil when he was young, he was named "The Rascal"). So, I was praying very very hard that it will not be a boy. Hubby was adamant to use that name, no matter how all of us were totally against it (come'on, can you imagine having your son being called "Corn Corn"!)

On the other hand, I prepared some names for a girl. I was trying to decide between Charmaine, Charlotte and Clarissa. Initially, I thought I would go for Charlotte but was concern that some people may not be able to pronounce it properly and she would ended up being laughed at all the time. As I was googling for the meaning of the name, I came across "Clarissa" again and it means "brilliant" in Greek. I thought to myself, I wouldn't mind having a brilliant child, so we decided that if it was a girl, we will call her that. Moreover, I thought it would be nice for her to be called "Sa Sa" in chinese (for my grandparents especially, as they don't speak English). 

I was totally relieved after my 5 months scan, when the doctor confirmed that it was going to be a girl, for I knew for sure, my child wouldn't be called "Corn Corn" or worst still, "Corny" :D Until now, I am still trying to convince Hubby that we will not name our 2nd child Cornelius if it is going to be a son......

So Sweet & So Funny!

At first, tonight I thought I would like to tell you all why the name Clarissa was chosen. But then something very sweet happened. 

 

As I was sitting next to her on the bed, she suddenly SAID TO me - "Mommy, I am so glad you are my Mommy". I asked her why she's glad since Mommy always scold her, and she said -"You always scold me because you are my Mommy". I think she's trying to explain to me that I am scolding her for her own good, because Mommy always want the best things for her. So I asked her again, why doesn't she think she will be HAPPIER if Ku Ma, or Kakak, or Godma is her Mommy. She said "No"and told me - "Because I only love you and you only love me, that's why". Her answer brought tears of joy to my eyes.

 

Then another funny thing happened tonight, and I thought I will share this joke with you guys as well. 

 

A nice client of mine from Beijing gave me the Olympic Mascot toy today. So, I gave it to Clarissa and told her the dolly's name is Huan Huan (歡歡). When Daddy came home just now, she showed Daddy the dolly, and asked me to tell her the dolly's name again. I told her she's call Huan Huan and it means Happy in Chinese. She thought for a while and said, "Huan Huan means "Happy", and "Too Too" means "Sad", right Mommy?" I asked her to repeat herself and she said the same thing. Hubby and I were scratching our head on why she thinks "Too To" means "Sad". Then we found the answer - she thought I said the dolly's name was "One One" which means "Happy" and therefore "Two Two" automatically means "Sad". 

She's such a clown, isn't she?

The Guessing Game

Playing the guessing game with Clarissa - she gave the clues and I guessed..... try and see if you can guess correctly (she's only 3 1/2, so the clues may be too easy for you :-p) Refer to the answers at the end of this article...

 

1. I am brown with sharp shiny claws.....

2. I am big with a horn on top of my head and I like to swim in the water....

3. ooh ooh aah aah... and I like bananas......

4. I have long neck and I eat leaves....

5. I have big stumping feet (walk around stomping the ground) with a long trunk....

6. I am grey and I live in the sea.....

7. I am brown with big feet....

8. I am colorful and I like to eat honey from the flowers and I fly (flapping her hands)....

 

And when she grew tired in thinking of what clues she should gave me, she make these sounds - woof woof, miaw miaw... I guess I don't need to say more to tell you what she's pretending, right? 

 

Answers:-

1. Lion (she decides which is correct, I guess tiger but she said it was wrong)

2. Rhinoceros (I said hippo and she told me it doesn't comes with a horn)

3. Monkey (need I say more...)

4. Giraffe (I thought it was a panda bear in the beginning)

5. Elephant

6. Seal (I said it was a shark, but like I said, she's the boss, so she decides on the answer!)

7. Bear (I got this correct, finally)

8. Butterfly (I said bee because of the honey, but she told me again it's colorful, so it has to be a butterfly, isn't it??)

 

It was just a simple game played between she and Mommy. But it was kinda of cute that she managed to think of so many clues and the way she pretended to be the animals. And I think it was a good exercise for her brain too. Don't you think so?

Silly Clarissa

It had been a few days since my last blog. Well, it was because I was too busy chasing after a Korean drama and couldn't concentrate on anything until I am done with it :) And just as I finished last night, my little girl gave me something funny to blog about today!

Recently, she seems to be very interested to speak on the phone. Yesterday, she asked her grandpa to help her call her favorite cousin just to chat with her. And today, when the phone rang, she quickly ran and answered it. It was her Cool Ma (as she pronounced it- supposed to be Ku Ma), but she couldn't recognised the voice and thought it was me. Well, her Cool Ma's voice does sounds very similar to Mommy, so I can't blame her for mistaken that for me. So, Cool Ma told her to ask her grandpa to meet her downstairs, because she wanted to take him to see the doctor. But she told Cool Ma - "No, I don't need to see a doctor" and put down the phone on her. Then, she told my maid and grandpa that it was Mommy on the phone, and they called me to clarify. I, of course told them I didn't call. Finally, Cool Ma managed to get grandpa on the other line... Phew! 

When I asked her who she thought the caller was, she kept insisting it was me. So, I explained to her that, that wasn't me but her Cool Ma. She kept quiet for a second and I asked her again, why did she think that Cool Ma was me? She thought for a while and answered - "Because I am silly Clarissa" :). Yeah, she is always Mommy's silly bunny, as I call her....

The Grumpy Baby

Clarissa was a grumpy little baby when she was young (she is still one grumpy girl now). Her favorite expression was to lock her eyebrows together and she doesn’t smile a lot. Everybody said she is a moody child. I can’t help feeling guilty about this because I always think that I contributed to her moodiness, as I was always very cranky when I was pregnant with her, and people said – cranky Mommy, cranky baby J

 

Not only she was grumpy, she was also a cry-baby. I remember the day after her first month (right after the confinement lady left), she was already crying non-stop, not because she has colic. It was simply because I was trying to wean her and at 2 months old, she was already fighting with me by refusing to drink her milk for the whole day.

 

She is still a cry baby now and whenever she cried, I will tell her that she’s a big girl now and should not behave like that. But she will answer by telling me that I always say she’s my “Big Baby” and so she can still behave like one. 

I normally tell her not to cry by reasoning with her, but I seldom stop her because I always believe that a child should be free to express her emotion, which means, if she feels like crying, she should do so. I would rather have a cry baby now, than having a daughter who will keep everything to herself when she grows up.

 

So, my dear child, it doesn’t matter what other people say, you are always Mommy’s “Big Baby” and you can always behave like one whenever you are with Mommy.

 

Clarissa= "Little Minie Me"

If I look at Clarissa just like that, I would not say she looks very much like me. Or at least I thought so; until my Grandma told me she’s a replica of me when I was her age. So I start searching for pictures of me at her age, and what a surprise! She did look like me (just look at the picture, don’t you think so too??)

 

Putting the look aside, she has every bit of me in her. All the bad and good things, especially the bad things where I pray hard she won’t get from me. She is very stubborn and over confident sometimes, just like me J (Well, that’s the good part of it). She is in a bad mood when she doesn’t get enough sleep, just like Mommy. She’s talkative (like Mommy and Daddy, I would say). She even has mouth ulcers all the time, just like me!

 

However, whenever I look at her, I just can’t help thinking that no matter how much she looks like me or behave like me, she is so much luckier than me. For one, I don’t have parents that love her as much as her we do. Maybe because of that, I always tell myself that I will always work hard to give her all the good things within my means (and make sure she appreciates it). I pray and hope that she will have a much, much happier childhood compare to Mommy, and that she will never ever have to go through what Mommy has gone through as a child….. 

PRAISES FOR YOUR CHILD. HOW SHOULD U REACT?

Whenever someone offered praises to your child, what do you normally say (besides thank you)? I am sure all of us will say things like – “No la, where got, she’s not pretty, she’s very naughty at home blah blah blah.” Being a typical Asian, we were brought up to be humble, and that means when we get praises from other people, our parents will not admit it in front of us, fearing that we will grow up to be an arrogant person. But what they have neglected is how we feel, isn’t it?

 

I once read an article about this subject which I think is very interesting, and would like to take this opportunity to share it with all of you. The author has awakened me on how I should react when someone offered praises for my daughter.

 

For instance, someone will come and tell me, “Oh she looks so pretty”, and being the typical Asian, I will say “Nola, where got, look at her teeth (trying to find flaws in her)”. It didn’t occur to me how she would feel about it. Of course now she is too young to understand, but if I do not change my attitude, I will continue to behave this way even when she’s older. Imagine how demotivated she will feel, if every single time, someone offered her praises in front of Mommy,but Mommy always disagree with this person. She would probably think, why is it that other people think she’s good, but her own Mommy never thinks so? And why is it that she always can't get the same approval that other people are giving her, from her own Mommy?

 

Reading the article made me realized sub consciously we are not being fair to our own children. So, from then on, I always make sure if friends or relatives offered praises to my girl, I will agree with them. We don’t need to reinforce it too much if we are worried that it may create an arrogance attitude in the child, but we do not need to say "NO" either, everytime someone is to praise the child. Motivating a child helps to build confidence in him or her, and being confident is such an important aspect in their life later. Shouldn’t we as parents be the one to help them build their confidence instead of the other way round?

"My Best Friend"

My best friend, Carmen, has a daughter name Yuanyi, who is just 2 months older than Clarissa. When she called me 3 ½ years ago on the day she was pregnant, I felt very happy and at the same time a little disappointed. Happy for her because she will soon have a baby, disappointed because I had been trying for more than 1 year with no good news … Surprisingly after 2 months, I found out I was pregnant (until today we have been joking that her pregnancy is contagious). What could be better than being pregnant at the same time, where we could shared our experiences together during that 9 months. I guess nobody could understand how a pregnant woman felt better than another pregnant woman J

We were even happier when we found out that both of us will be having girls! These 2 girls, being born in the same year, has a lot of similarities in them. Both are very stubborn and don’t react well with strangers. When they were young, they both even looked alike for some reason. There was even once when her own granpa mistaken Yuanyi for Clarissa!

I remember when they were younger, they both didn’t play well with each other. Everytime when I organized for the parents to come over for dinner, both of them will be playing with themselves only. But now that they are older, both started referring the other party as their “Best Friend”.

Seeing the way they played with each other today (they came over for dinner), made me realized how much these girls have grown, and how fast time flies. Soon, I believe they will they will be talking about schools, TV shows or probably boys instead of Barbie dolls or playing cooking…. I, of course hope and pray hard the “boys” part will only come 15 years from now J