MA-MAI-NO

Most children will start calling their mother “Mommy” or “Mie”, but not Clarissa. For some reason, she started by calling me “Ma-Mai-No”. What was the reason, I wasn’t sure. No matter how I corrected her, she will still call me that, confusing friends and relatives. It went on for about a year, and she later changed it to “Ma-Mai”. By chance, I found out from a Brazilian client that her kids called her “Ma-Mai” because it means Mommy in Portuguese. Could it be the Portuguese blood in her? I asked myself. As she grows older, Ma-Mai became Mommy. And now, sometimes when I disciplined her, she will even answer me – “Yes, Mother”.

Although “Ma-Mai-No” sounded quite weird, I actually missed her calling me that now. Calling me that sort of name gave me the feeling that I am someone very special to her, and that was why she gave her Mommy a special name.   

"You are forever pretty to me, Daddy"

The other night, Daddy came home early and decided to take Clarissa for a walk at the supermarket and a slice of cake.

While they were at the baking section of the supermarket, Clarissa suggested to Daddy to buy some baking equipments and ingredients to make some cookies and cakes. A lady next to them thought she was so interesting because she spoke so well and was so talkative. She asked Hubby whether he is a chef because Clarissa seems to know so much about baking J Hubby told her he’s not, but he made bread when he’s free (yup, my hubby baked his own bread, as in, he did it from scratched – make the dough etc.) Then the lady commented that Clarissa is pretty and was asking whether her mom is non-Chinese (yup, me J). Hubby told her “no”, the non-Chinese is him, but Clarissa looks more like her aunties (typical man, isn’t it? Can’t bear to lose face!!).

After the lady left, Clarissa asked her Daddy what the lady was talking about. Daddy told her that the lady said, she’s pretty and that she thought Clarissa looks like Mommy, which means Daddy is not good looking enough. And you know what Clarissa answered? She said – “No Daddy. You are my Daddy and you are forever pretty to me.”

Daddy was so touched by her words and I am sure he will remember this for the rest of his life J

Separation anxiety

Clarissa started attending pre-school at the age of 2. Just like all parents out there, I was worried whether she would be able cope, especially at such a young age. I will never forget the first day of her school, because it’s a day where you realized she’s no longer a baby …. and no matter how unwilling you are, you will have to let her learn to be independent.

The first 2 weeks were ok for her, because there were lots of toys at the school. After the initial 2 weeks, she began to realize that she has to go everyday and that’s when the problem started. Like all school beginners, she was worried that Mommy will leave her at the school, and never turned up to pick her. Therefore, every morning became a struggle for her and me, because I have to be the bad Mommy who will leave her with her teachers even when she was crying hysterically. This is because I knew that if I stayed on with her, it will make the separation harder, and it will be more difficult for her to cope because she will think that by crying, Mommy will not leave her at the school anymore. So, I knew what I needed to do was to assure her that Mommy will not leave her no matter what.

Every morning when I left her at the school, I will tell her that I will come and pick her when school finished. No matter how hard she cried, I made sure she heard that part of my promise. And when I picked her later, I will remind her that I kept my promise and that I was there just like I promised. Gradually, the goodbyes became easier and easier. I also encouraged her to bring one of her favorite toy to school, so she could show it to her friends and teachers. Having something familiar with her definitely made her feel more secured and comfortable. Finally, before I knew it, I was already saying goodbye to her at the doorstep of the school and there were no more tears from her.

My advise for first time parents who are sending their children to school is this- try not to stay on with the child in class, if possible. This is because the longer you stay with her, the more difficult it is for her to adapt to the new environment, and the more she will rely on you. I know it’s very hard, especially when the child is crying hysterically. I myself have witnessed the Mommies crying outside the class when the child is crying inside J. But this is part of her growing up. No matter how reluctant we are, we have to let them go, or they will never learn. Most important of all, is for us to make the child understand that Mommy will always be there when they need us, although it may not be immediate J. And we will never leave them no matter what happened. A child that has good sense of security will grow to be a confident and independent adult. Isn’t this what all parents are hoping for?

Appreciation

Something that I always love of Clarissa is her sense of appreciation. From young, she was taught to say "please" and "thank you" when necessary. The school helps to reinforce that and so, she never failed to use it everytime she needs help. But she doesn't only use her thank you when she gets something, she also used it whenever she appreciates something that we have done for her. For example, she will say "thank you for bringing me to the beach" or "thank you for bringing me to Europe" or even small things like "thank you for buying me this nice lollipop!". She will not only says it during or after the incident, but whenever she remembers it. Like when she saw her beach pictures in my laptop everytime, she will say thank you again and again. Not only she thanked me, she also thanked those people who has gone to the trip with her like her cousin sisters. She will thank them all the time for being there during the trip to play with her. 

Her "thank you" may not mean much to a lot of people, but to her it means that she truly appreciates from her heart these things that we have done for her. She doesn't take things for granted and I am so happy that at such a young age, she understands the meaning of "appreciation". It feels so sweet that she doesn't think what Mommy and Daddy do for her is something that we should do, and that she understands how hard we are working to provide the best for her. Every night when Daddy prepared her milk for her, she has never failed to thank him for that bottle of milk. 

I hope this sense of appreciation in her will be with her all her life, that she will never take things for granted. She taught me to be more thankful of things that are happening around me. If only all of us can be like her, where we are not afraid to say thank you and appreciate things and people around us more, then I am sure the world will be filled with more happy people. 

Chinese or Non Chinese???

When it comes to schooling, I know a lot of parents are in a dilemma - to send the child into a Chinese school or private school or the normal public school?? Luckily for me, I have decided to save myself from the headache, I have made up my mind to just send Clarissa into Sayfol, where her cousins are. Don't get me wrong, I don't have anything against Chinese school or her learning Chinese, but I always feel that the Chinese educational system is a little too tough on children. I have heard from a lot of parents that, the homework given by the Chinese school are tremendous and the teachers are too strict. 

For me (solely my personal opinion), language is a funny thing. I always feel that it is very important to first have a keen interest in the language to be able to learn it. I think learning Chinese is very important (especially being a Chinese) but I don't need my daughter to master in it. So long, if she can understand and speak, I am happy enough. I don't believe in the saying that you have to learn Chinese to be successful because China will have more business around the world. (Come on, majority of the educated Chinese from China speak perfect English these days!). 

Graduating from a normal public school, I was never exposed to the Chinese language, but I am able to read, write and speak the language now. Why? Simply because I am a Chinese who is worried that if I were to go to China one day, people will laugh at me (or worse, scold me) for not be able to speak or understand my own mother tongue. And so, I started listening to Chinese songs (reading the lyrics) and watching lots of Chinese movies/series (reading the sub title), and as they said, the rest is history.....

I hope when Clarissa is older, I will be able to instill the same feelings in her. No doubt she's only 1/4 Chinese (since her Daddy is only 1/2), but I would still want her to always remember that 1/4 of her. The reason for not sending her to a Chinese school is because I feel that it is unfair for me to put her in an environment where she's totally not familiar. Imagine yourself (as an adult) in a same situation, if you are not able to understand anything your friends or your teachers said, how would you feel? If there is anyone to be blamed for her not being able to speak the language, then it should be me, since I am the one who doesn't speak to her from young. So, there's no reason to force her into a Chinese school and let others teach her when as a mother, I didn't do it. 

Having said that, it doesn't mean I don't want her to learn the language at all. I am trying to mend the situation now by speaking to her more in Chinese. Recently, she came home calling her Daddy - Ba Ba, and Me - Ma Ma. When I asked her if she knows what it means, she told me the correct meaning. She also told me that she's speaking in Chinese and that those were the only 2 Chinese words she knows. I encouraged her to speak more, and now she added another 2 words in her Chinese vocabulary - "Dai" nan nan (big milk, in case you people thought the wrong thing ;)) and "Sai" (small) nan nan :) 

Given enough time and patience, I believe one day she will be able to speak and understand more. Afterall, she's only 3 1/2, she will have a long time more to learn the language......

When she first arrived.....

I've been contemplating the whole night whether I should write a new post today as I have spent all my energy writing my thoughts in the author's message section :) And partly because I guess I am feeling a little too tired due to my busy schedule the past 2 weeks. So, I thought to myself, ok, I'm going to start somehow, if I finish it tonight then good, if not I'll just publish this post tomorrow. After all, one should always blog without having any pressure at all :o)

Looking through the previous few posts, I realized that I have forgotten to share one thing very important - how did Clarissa comes into the world. Now, don't get me wrong, I am not going to discuss in details how she's made and stuffs like that ;P because that's x-rated, but the childbirth process...

Hubby and me tried hard for 1 1/2 years before Clarissa was conceived. We were of course very happy when we had her. The first trimester of the pregnancy wasn't smooth sailing as I had bad morning sickness, but eventually the pregnancy became more enjoyable as it progressed. She was supposed to be due late November but decided to come 2 weeks earlier. 

I was induced in the afternoon around 3pm on that fateful day and since the contraction came right after that, I thought she would be out before night comes. However, my happiness was short lived when after more than 10 hours of labour pain, she still doesn't want to leave the comfort of Mommy's tummy. Well, that's her, my stubborn baby! So, after almost 15 hours of pain, I asked my gynae how long more it will take, and was told that it could be another 6-8 hours, as I was only 2cm dilated. I decided to ask for an epidural but he was against it as he thought that her size might be big and I may ended up going for a caesarian. 

That's when Hubby and me made a decision that if she still doesn't want to come out by 12.30pm, we will have to take her out by hook or by crook :) And true enough, being stubborn as she is, she was forced to come out at 2pm and that means Mommy had to suffer for the next six months (yup, it took that long for a full recovery after caesarean). My dear girl weighed 3.77kg and the next day when the gynae found out her weigh, he was glad that I didn't insist on a normal birth. 

It has now been more than 3 years since it happened. Although you forget all about the pain, you never forget the moment when you first laid eyes on your child. Ask any parent and they will tell you the same thing. Nothing feels better or more spectacular than seeing your child the first time. The moment of joy is so great that all pains are forgotten the minute the baby is in your arms, and you treasure that moment for the rest of your life.......

"Buy Me a Baby Sister!!"

Eversince she turned two, Clarissa has been bugging me for a baby sister. And I mean really bugging, as in everytime she saw a baby she will asked me for one. From asking me to "give" her one, she upgraded to asking me to "buy" her one from the supermarket. Now, at the age of 3 1/2, she sort of understand that you can't actually "buy" a baby sister. The other day, she asked me - "Can I have a real pet and a "real" baby?". I told her she can only chose one and she told me - "Real baby sister" - I, of course decided to give her a "real pet" instead :)

I remember I used to make fun of her by putting a doll in my belly, taking it out from there, passed to her telling her - "Nah, this is your baby sister" and she will get so upset about it. When my best friend gave birth to her 2nd child, I showed her the picture and told her this is YY's baby brother. She was so upset after seeing the picture that she cried and said she want a baby brother too. 

It could be her maternal instinct kicking in at such a young age, or she is too lonely, or she just loves babies. Every single time when she saw a baby at her school, she will stopped and played with them and then turned to me and said - "How cute" - seeing her behaving like this is cute to me :)

It isn't that I do not want to have a 2nd child, but truth is, Mommy is selfish and would like to enjoy her more before having to share my attention for her with another baby. I always believe the first 4-5 years of the child is so crucial, as this is the time where they need the most attention. Already, we as working mommies only get to see our children so late at night, and if during that 2-3 hours I still cannot give her 100% attention, I will feel so bad about it. I also think that before this age, they are too young to understand what a baby brother or sister means, and may not love them as much compare to when they can grasp the idea of a baby brother or sister. 

And the most important thing is, Mommy loves to bring Baby travel, so, if the 2nd one comes at a time when Clarissa can help Mommy to take care of him or her, then we can all go together :D (as Daddy normally will not be able to join us on our Europe holiday)....

"Pretend"

Tonight she took out all my scarfs and starting playing "pretend". She's pretending that the scarfs are skates by putting all the scarfs on the floor and sliding on it.....let's hope she won't fall on her head by doing that.... And she's pretending that's it's snowing outside, so she's wrapping a coat (the scarf of course) around herself because she said she's cold...hahahaha...

Children- so innocent, so naive. They like to pretend, but they are never "pretentious". 

And she just told me - "Mommy, I'm pretending that I am having a picnic (by putting the scarfs on the floor again), so don't disturb me". I told her "Since when Mommy ever disturb you, you are the one who always disturb me". She replied "I always disturb you because you always disturb me when I disturb you".... can somebody explain what this means... especially when it's coming from a 3 1/2 year old child? Daddy and me just couldn't help smiling...and scratching our head :)

How Much U love me, Mommy?

I don't know where and how she got the idea, but Clarissa likes to ask me this question - "How much do you love me, Mommy?" If my answer is "100", "1 million", she will say the same thing when I asked her back - "How much do you love me?". Her answer always makes me feel so happy because coming from a child, I know she really mean it and it comes straight from her heart. It also taught me a lesson - how much you love your child, she will loves you that much in return. These days, whenever she asked me this question, I will tell her - "I love you as many as the stars are in the sky, and as much as the sands are on the beach" - and I really mean it. The sweetest thing is, she will answer me the same thing when the same question is posed to her....

The funniest thing is, if I asked her - "how much do you love Daddy?"... her answer is always - "5" - call it bias or anything ;P

My First Blog

I have been thinking for a long time to create a blog. But what should my blog be about? .. I kept asking myself. Finally, I have decided to create a blog specially dedicated to my little girl, Clarissa. This, will be a blog for me to tell and share her story. Children are so full of surprises and I am sure all mothers will agree with me. Things that they do or talk about are something that you can never guess. And with this blog, I hope it can help me to remember all the little episodes of her life. Hopefully, she will have a chance to read Mommy's blog when she's old enough to understand and it will give her some thoughts on what Mommy thinks of her when as she grows.

To start off, let me introduce her a little - her name is Clarissa, and she's going to be 4 by year end. She's can be a moody and grumpy child at times, but mostly she's talkative (something that she inherited from me I think :) ) Her teachers said she's too independent, too confident! Not too sure if this is a good thing or not! And she's a little Minnie Me. In terms of look and character. I just see so much of myself in her, a little too much at times... 

Blogs from Myspace

Since I will be blogging in this website, I have transferred my blogs from My Space into here instead. Enjoy reading...

May 29

Time flies

In the blink of an eye, my little Clarissa is almost 19 months. As you can see, she has much more hair now . She is also definitely very mischievious, something that she inherited from her Daddy. And of course, she knows much more words now and every character that is on the Disney Playhouse Channel! Her favourite is of course Jojo Circus and Rolie Polie Olie. Time flies so quickly and soon I think she will be too old for me to cuddle and kiss. And before that time comes, I might as well enjoy every moment that I have with this Little Darling of mine ...

November 06

Back from Europe....

It has been 1 whole long month of holidays!! And as you can see from the pictures, I am not the happiest person there but my little Darling. So, who says children are too young to travel and understand. I would believe that there is no such thing as too young to travel. Try asking Little Clarissa now, where she went and she will tell you "Europe!" And when you asked her what she has been doing in Europe, she will tell you "Go mountain to see snowman" And all she managed to was to play with snow for 20 minutes. Of coz I wouldn't say that it is sooooo nice and fantastic having a 2 year old travelling with you (WITHOUT YOUR HUSBAND), but the time and things I did with my baby during this one month will be something that I treasure for the rest of my life.

 

Italy is nice but....not the kind of nice things I like. And it is very sunny and hot. Vatican City is great though and Isle of Capri is fantastic. But at the end of the day, my preference is still Switzerland.

 

Whatever it is. it has been a good holiday and most important of all, my baby enjoys it so much. Hope you folks enjoy the pictures......

 

Ciao!

May 07

6 months have passed in 2007!

Can't believe that we are going into June soon. Time is passing by so fast that sometimes you just wished it will go slower. And looking at my little girl now, I am beginning to worry that she will soon find Mommy nagging her too much and no more kissy from Mommy  So, my advice to all parents out there - LET'S ENJOY IT WHILE WE CAN!!

 

Little Clarissa has started pre-school in Jan 07 and since then, I have seen so much progress in her. Some people think that it's cruel of me to send her to school when she was only 2 years old. But I can assure you that I have no regrets at all. Her daily school activity consists of playing toys, drawing, singing etc. Of coz there are times when they will teach her a little bit of ABCs, but mainly the pre-school is to help her to socialize & communicate better. And just 2 weeks after she started school, she had started with all her "whys". On top of that, she comes home everyday singing different songs and telling me different poems - from Jack & Jill to Humpty Dumpty..

 

The best thing is, the school is also helping me to potty train her. She still has her "accidents", but she is definitely learning. Hopefully soon I will be able to save some money on diapers

Most impotant, she is happy at the school as she has friends to play with. And whenever I asked her what does school has, her answer is always "School has many many toys". So, who's saying that school is no fun